Cars run on gas. They also have batteries. Sass thought they ran on fairy dust and pizza. That is, until she left her lights on for the entirety of Monday night. Sucker! But, no, I'm the sucker, because I was the first to discover what should have been her brutal realization, thereby making it my problem. Luckily, our angel J Fries descended from Heaven with her jumper cables and helped me out. And when I say helped me out, I mean that she connected all the cables and whatnot while I stood to the side, because I was not trying to touch those fucking things. She hooked them up incorrectly on the first attempt though, so nothing happened when I started the car. Thankfully, some hippie on a bicycle rode by and I waved him down, because hippies know cars. He was quite friendly and helpful. He also kept repeating, "Good thing you didn't try to start the car when they were hooked up all backwards. It could have completely shot your entire car's electrical system." Yeah, good thing. But we figured it out, and no electrical systems were harmed in the process. And then I drove that little bitch around aimlessly for half an hour to recharge her battery.
Anyway, this is a picture of me and J Fries breathing life back into the car, which will from here on out be referred to as "The Lifestyle."
So please, in the words of Nelly Furtado, "Turn off the light, [Sass]."
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