25 things about your newest contributor

It was a thrill, if an English teacher's nightmare, to receive the email that began "The Blogger user Lia has invited you to contribute to the blog: La Classe American." Now what?

Do you remember that silly fad on Facebook recently in which people kept posting these lists of 25 facts about themselves? Really uncool, right? Which is why I totally didn't make one.

Except: I made one. I just didn't post it. I saved it in TextEdit. So, by way of introducing myself, here's the list that I decided shouldn't be posted online -- totally unedited (absolutely edited).


1) I think I hate these lists. They're either too sincere (author is a loser), or try too hard to be funny (author is a tool). I'll try to walk the tightrope. I'll fail.
2) I try to kick it with the ironic kids, but secretly I dig sincerity.
3) Like Sass and Lia, I could do without words' being intentionally misspelled online. But I make an exception for 'orly' and 'o rlmente.'
4) I love to self-deprecate.
5) Man, I'm so lame at something.
6) I save all my chats.
7) My dad says he likes to read my thesis when he can't fall asleep.
8) I'm incapable of holding a grudge. I've tried. I always end up being glad about this.
9) I love to drive.
10) I'm surprisingly poorly read.
11) I (and the rest of my crew) once finished first in a rowing tournament.
12) I go out of my way to avoid split infinitives.
13) I was almost the child lead in Cop and a Half.
14) I'm a very good mimic.
15) "I'm a very good mimic."
16) I once finished dead last in a New York City bike race.
17) I can whistle very well.
18) I'm such a classic Leo. Just kidding: astrology is nonsense.
19) I'd like to be a stand-up comedian.
20) Two words: Cougars.
21) Also, younger women.
22) I have a crush on every one of my sister's friends. Unless it's not mutual in which case I'm kidding.
23) I've had Twitter-related anxiety dreams.
24) I'd prefer to be the pot calling the kettle black than the kettle being called names by really any appliance.
25) I kind of enjoyed this. Unless you didn't in which case I'm kidding.

- The Blogger user Ben